Addressing Past Trauma and Its Impact on Life and Relationships

Last Tuesday I did a post about trauma. When I got to the coffee shop that morning, two of my friends from church were discussing the post, and one said it was probably his favourite I’ve ever done. Then I get home and see push back in the comments. And so it goes!

The comment pointed out that the folks who lived through The Great Depression didn’t whine about it. This is true. However, The Great Depression resulted in the highest suicide rate this country has ever seen. They didn’t talk about it because doing so was far more likely to result in scorn and separation than empathy or help. So they held their tongues. And if they couldn’t cope, they killed themselves.

Man breaking a chain

My mother lived through The Great Depression. Her family did better than some, but even as a child she felt it. Her father, and his father who lived with them, were German, and you didn’t discuss your troubles. Mom bottled is all up and lived with it the rest of her life. I can see how it limited her. It held her back, caused fear, and hurt her and her family. I can easily see how my sister and I were hurt by her unresolved trauma. After my folks were both gone, I came across my father’s journals. There weren’t a lot of details, but it was clear my mother’s unresolved issues hurt him, and limited their sex life.

The subtitle of the book I’ve been suggesting is “How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling”. When we deal with our past, we are finally free to be who God made us, who He called us to be.

Suppressing trauma doesn’t usually end in suicide. But it always limits life. And not just the life of the one suppressing. It limits and hurts those close to that person too. If you won’t deal with your trauma for yourself, do it for your wife and kids. 

Image Credit: © Karen Struthers | stock.adobe.com
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