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The posts on busyness came about because of the number of women who indicated they said no to sex because they were too tired, which is mostly about being too busy. Today, I want to differentiate between being too busy for sex, and being too busy for good sex.
For men, there may not be an issue here; as long as we can make a few minutes for sex, we can have good sex. This is not the case for the vast majority of women. For a woman to really enjoy sex, she needs time to slow down, set things aside, and get her head into a sexual place. Women also require a relationship connection for sex to be desired and enjoyed, and such a connection takes a good bit of non-sexual time with her man. She can coast for a while on the past, but if you don’t share time with her for too long, it will start to affect her sexually.
Additionally, women are not “turned on” as fast as men, and being tired or stressed makes it even worse. Tiredness and stress also get in the way of having an orgasm, making it difficult, more effort than it’s worth, or just plain impossible.
I have said this before, and I will keep saying it: busyness is a sure way to ruin your sex life. In order to keep wanting and enjoying sex, your wife must have time with you, and she must have enough sleep and time to relax. This is not an issue of her holding sex hostage till she gets what she wants; being tired and busy affects her sexuality in ways she can’t control. If she’s too busy and sex is really important to you, you must work to make changes. If you don’t work for those changes, either you don’t get it, or sex isn’t as important to you as what fills your time.
[This post first appeared June 30, 2012.]
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