Did Bathsheba matter?
This past Sunday, on my Facebook page, I shared a quote from Diane Langberg’s book, Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church.
The quote read, “King David was Bathsheba’s Harvey Weinstein.”
In the caption, I added, “Somewhere in a church today, there’s a sermon about David and Bathsheba, and it does not start like this…”
(Harvey Weinstein is a former film producer and convicted sex offender.)
The “story of David and Bathsheba” has been recounted and preached incorrectly since forever. I shared the update, believing most people would agree that the church needs to correct course.
I expected some differing opinions but I was surprised by the number of commenters who defended David (def: Conduct the case for the party being accused or sued.. Oxford Languages and Google). They said David cannot be Bathsheba’s HW because,
- he did it once
- Harvey Weinstein was worse
- the Bible calls David a man after God’s own heart
- he repented
- God anointed David
- we’re all sinners
- David was forgiven
- we’re letting the pendulum swing too far….it’s a slippery slope
One person suggested my post was “gall, bitterness and something else not quite right” and “not the work of the Holy Spirit.” Someone else said, “David married Bathsheba, and God blessed their union. Not hardly a Harvey Weinstein example.”
I replied to some of the comments, and then I got busy, and I couldn’t engage as much as I would have liked. So, I decided to write a quick blog post.
So let’s talk about it…
Did Bathsheba’s Life Matter? 8 Thoughts
Here’s what I’m thinking.
1. We can’t defend David and tell ourselves our reasoning is not throwing Bathsheba under the bus.
We can’t consider our spirited defense of one privileged man as not doing the thing the church has historically been guilty of: re-telling the account of David’s offenses on FULL DARVO mode.
(Def of Darvo: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.)
2. The post was saying David was TO BATHSHEBA a Harvey Weinstein.
Harvey Weinstein was a powerful man who used his power to prey, exploit, and harm.
David did to Bathsheba what Harvey did to multiple women. Yes, David also murdered Bathsheba’s husband. The point was men of power using their power to exploit and harm instead of to protect and uplift.
David did a wicked thing, and His behavior can stand by itself, no matter what he did AFTER he was caught and called out.
We can all agree (I hope) that an act of repentance by an offender does not erase the harm done to the victim. Read More If Her Abusive Husband is in Recovery, Shouldn’t a Wife Stay?
3. There are different understandings of what “being a man after God’s own heart” means..
But none ought to minimize David’s depravity and wickedness.
As Christians, the fact that we think that people who claim to love God are somehow special is one of the reasons harm continues unchecked in faith spaces.
God himself thoroughly rebuked David and it should not be news that God was unhappy with David’s actions. 2 Samuel 12.
4. Did Bathsheba’s Life Matter? Grabbing a woman, raping her, murdering her husband, and making her your wife hardly seems like a “marriage” story to aspire for.
Saying, “Furthermore, David married Bathsheba, and God blessed their union. Not hardly a Harvey Weinstein example,” shows how uninformed and destructive our “theology” can be.
Around the world, victims are forced to marry the offender. Do we really think “the marriage” fixes the harm? Are we so calloused so as to think chaining a victim to an abuser for the rest of her life is redemptive?
Bathsheba had no say. There was no consent. And the chapters in the book of Samuel are all worded to point to David as an offender and Bathsheba as a victim.
It is not a love story. It is a tragedy. It started with rape, and it didn’t let up. The fact that some Christians think it did “because marriage, yay,” should break our hearts.
5. “King David was Bathsheba’s Harvey Weinstein” is clear and specific about who did what and to whom.
A lot of people missed the particularity of the update, and the only reason I can come up with is Christians idolize Bible characters.
We think the patriarchs, the “heroes of faith,” and prominent Bible characters cannot be held-to-the-light-with-no-airbrush.
We think there has to be a pretty bow to every story and break our backs, ensuring “redemption” and “hope” and “faith” at the end of every line, no matter how utterly horrendous and heartbreaking and humanly unfixable that line is.
And we think not to do so – to call out things as they are, without pretty bows, to speak the truth as it’s shared – is somehow anti-God.
The reality is, bad things happen. And God does not need us to fix the unfixable. He does not require us to airbrush reality to be good little Christians. God is not fragile.
But other human beings are. Those who like to exploit, control, deceive and manipulate NEED us to believe God is fragile, Bible characters as worthy of reverence, and putting an actual name to anything is anti-faith.
Read More When Pastors Exploit in the Name of Christ
6. It is not “gall, bitterness,” or “not the work of the Holy Spirit” to call out injustices and harm.
If we think it is gall and bitterness and anti the work of the Spirit to speak against exploitation and oppression, we have not understood Luke 4: 18, 19, where Jesus opened the scroll and said of Himself,
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Jesus upset those who hoarded power and used it to harm, injure, and oppress. He also upset those who wanted to be like those who misused power – the enablers, the middle-of-the-road-theres-two-sides-of-every-story people.
Read More How Do You Convince Your Loved One that Getting Away From Your Abuser was the Right Thing to Do?
Jesus upset those who thought it was more important to fend for the privileged than to protect the oppressed.
7. We must ask ourselves why one victim is not “enough.”
We must ask ourselves why one victim is not “enough.
Why “David “did it once” and “then repented,” and therefore, “he is not a sexual offender” is part of our beliefs. Why “he should never be remembered as a murderer. He did evil, but he changed” somehow makes sense to us.
The events could have been omitted from Scripture if God wanted it all buried or whitewashed. But here we are. Why do we feel it’s our job to minimize, deflect, blame-shift, or all-together bury something so there in Scripture?
How do we look at the depravity and wickedness of one privileged man and decide he is the one worthy of our defense?
If we say David did it once and repented, we say one victim is not enough for us. That more women have to have acts of violence happen to them for heinous acts to be named and judged. If “he did it once” is our war cry, we’re saying Bathsheba’s life didn’t matter.
But Bathsheba mattered: One victim is enough. As Christians, we need to understand that defending a sexual predator and murderer and honoring and protecting a victim does not drift in the same river.
If our words and behavior choose David, let’s own that. Let’s walk in the total weight of our beliefs. But let’s not insult victims’ intelligence by suggesting we’re also their allies.
Read More Does Vague, Confusing Language Around Abuse Keep Women in Abusive Marriages?
8. An offender’s repentance does not minimize or change what they did.
An offender’s remorse does not take away the impact their actions had on a victim and survivor.
David preyed on Bathsheba; she had no power, no ability to say no. David can have his path with God, AND we can be clear-eyed about the harm done.
To say because David repented and is therefore not a sexual offender to Bathsheba is precisely why we Christians are dangerous to victims of sexual violence (and all victims, really.)
Did Bathsheba’s Life Matter?
I believe we need to stop being so enamored by Bible characters. They were never the point.
God was and is still the point. He’s revealed in the person of Jesus. We look at what He taught and what He modeled.
We seek to understand recorded events and discern what is prescriptive and simply descriptive and what the key takeaways ought to be.
We grow in awareness that life can be a pile of manure sometimes, and we don’t have to make pearls out of everything. We can bear witness, lament, grieve, and fix nothing. Read More Of “Testimonies”, Bewildering Hallelujahs and the Christian Reluctance to Sit with Hard Stories
God is always inviting human beings to just be. To rest.
What’s one woman’s life worth? Did Bathsheba’s life matter?
She did. Bathsheba mattered. Victims matter.
Are you tired of religious refrains being used to justify your hurting reality?
Have you been told to take your place in the valley of desolation? Are you walking through life with a broken, disjointed soul, injured by wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing? Courage is for women who are tired of harmful theology and bad marriage advice. You deserve more. Order Courage: Reflections and Liberation for the Hurting Soul on Amazon I PDF
