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From time to time over on Quora, some fellow tries to excuse physically harming his wife because of her actions, words, or choices. Yes, he abused her, but it was her fault. Of course, this is what abusers do, and none of us are like that.
Or are we?
I’ve never hit my wife, so I’ve never tried to blame doing that on her. But if I’m honest, I’ve blamed her for plenty of things I CHOSE to do. Maybe I didn’t tell her it was her fault, but in my mind I told myself it was. I lost my temper, or got upset, or ignored her, or stonewalled or slow walked what she needed because of what she said or did. Yes, I treated her wrong, but it was her fault.
I’ve heard plenty of men attempt to defend treating their wife wrong by pointing to what she said, or did. That includes having an affair or using porn, yelling, denying, and refusing to do things they should do.
When we do this, we’re as wrong before God as the men who beat their wife and put the blame on her.
We can do better. We must do better.
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