Choosing a first dance song is such a different experience for every couple. For some, it is an easy breezy “that’s our song” and hey presto, they’re done. For others, it’s a minefield: say you met on the dancefloor of a nightclub for instance, then Rihanna isn’t going to cut it. Or you and your other half don’t have the same taste in music, which happens a lot.
Fear not, the first dance, much like everything to do with your wedding day, is about you being yourselves and having the time of your life, which is why we’ve put together helpful pointers on how to choose your first dance song. Keep reading to learn how to navigate the endless choice, avoid the clichés, and find something that’s uniquely you.
How to Start the Selection
There are a few traditional schools of thought about how to pick the first dance song.
- Some first dance songs will have a special meaning for you as a couple. Perhaps it’s a song that was played a lot when you first met or the exact tune that was playing as your eyes met across a crowded room.
- Some couples choose a song that reminds them of a special event – a great concert, festival, your first holiday together or another special occasion.
- Other ideas include choosing a song to fit with the theme of the wedding – if you’re having a retro wedding then something with a retro vibe, for a black tie wedding, a crooner classic will suit, or for a relaxed outdoor wedding, maybe a rock-infused festival hit.
- If you’re a classic romanticist then you will want a first dance song that has a message about romance or love at its core. We’re talking about a wonderfully soppy song to make everyone melt, as you trip the light fantastic together across the dancefloor.
- Other couples simply choose an appropriate song from their favourite band or artist.
A Practical Factor to Bear in Mind
The biggest question is: Can your band play your first dance song? Bear in mind the kind of band you’re having when choosing a song. Will your band be able to play the song you choose? Basically there’s no point asking a jazz band to play a rock song, or ask your 90s covers band to play Fly Me to the Moon. Lots of bands have the more popular first dance songs in their repertoire, but sometimes your band won’t have your chosen first dance song in their repertoire, or simply won’t be able to play it.
You need to think about how important it is for you that the band play your song and ask them if they can/will learn a song especially for you before making the final decision.
Don’t discount the song even if your band can’t play it. If the song is important to you then consider using a speaker and playing a recorded version. It’s really about how the balance of how important the song is vs having a live band serenade you.
Help! We Don’t Have a Special Song
Don’t feel bad if you don’t have a special song as a couple. It’s perfectly acceptable to choose something totally new, so that that can be your special song. Everytime it plays you’ll be transported back into each other’s arms on the most special day of your lives.
If You Don’t Want a Classic First Dance Song
Remember it doesn’t have to be a slow, waltzy-schmaltzy number. If you’re more into headbanging than shuffling, then do it, it’s your wedding. Pick the rock anthem belter that makes you want to grab a hairbrush micorphone if that’s what you want.
However, if you’re feeling shy about having everyone stare at you as you dance, then that’s a different matter. There’s going to be a first dance of the evening, you can’t fight that, but if you’re not that into the classic first dance set up where the couple dances solo for at least the first verse and chorus, it’s perfectly fine to choose a song that will get the dance floor pumping quickly. You can minimise the time alone on the dancefloor with a party-starting number and by actively encouraging people to get up and join you.
First Dance Songs We Love
Now that your brain is buzzing with lots of ideas, it’s time for you and your other half to settle in for a listening party. We recommend you make a shared Spotify playlist which you can both add suggestions to, then take an evening to have a glass of wine (and perhaps a dance around the living room) as you work through the list. You can delete the ones that don’t make the cut, or reorder them in order of preference.
To help we’ve done the hard work for you and created two great Spotify playlists: 99+ First Dance Songs for Every Kind of Wedding and 75 Alternative First Dance Songs that have everything from fun and funky dance numbers, to the classics.
Don’t forget it’s not just the couple who can have a first dance either. There’s also:
You’ll find these and more in our wedding music section, including recommended bands and DJs. Hit follow on Instagram for more great tips!
