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I was reading a research study, and it started with this:
Female sexual dysfunction (FSD) is a medicosocial problem and one of the most common complaints in sexually active women, affecting as many as 30-50% of them…
If it affects 30% of women, that’s an epidemic. If it affects 50%, that’s a crisis! Thing is, multiple well done studies have found those numbers are right. Even worse, being raised in a legalistic Christian home increases the odds a woman has FSD.
FSD is defined as problems with sexual desire, arousal, orgasm, and/or sexual pain, resulting in personal distress and/or problems with interpersonal relationships.
One of the most common causes of FSD is sexual trauma from a woman’s childhood or teen years. If her resistance to sex is because of trauma, nothing you say or do is going to make a change. What’s more, she can’t just will herself to change. Dealing with her sexual trauma is critical for healing.
A recent exploratory study looked at trauma-focused therapies to see if it was effective in dealing with FSD. The conclusion was that it is. Redeeming Heartache, the book I’ve mentioned several times, might be a starting place for that healing. It’s unlikely the book alone will result in major changes, but it could convince your wife she needs to get help. Help that could revolutionise your sex life and your marriage.
BTW, Christianity isn’t all bad when it comes to sex. Couples who both have a strong faith tend to have better than average sex lives. It’s not God, it’s how He is presented.
A post worth reading:
phys.org | Stronger religious beliefs linked to higher levels of sexual satisfaction, study shows ◄ Strong faith correlates to better enjoyment of sex; promiscuity correlates to less enjoyment of sex.
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