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You can’t fix something if you don’t know how it works. And if you try, you will probably make things worse.
If you have no idea how a car works, opening the hood when it won’t start isn’t going to help. And if you start banging on or pulling on things, odds are you will just add another problem that a mechanic will have to fix.
The same dynamic occurs in relationships. If you don’t understand why your wife is upset, trying to fix the situation is a bad idea. Trying to understand what’s going on is good, but just banging or pulling will most likely result in additional problems that will need to be addressed.
Of course, all of this goes against our feeling we should do something, anything! Doing nothing feels weak. But isn’t doing nothing better than making things worse?
ProTip: For women, listening is never nothing.
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