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One more post on vibrators. First, the fear that once a woman is coming this way, she will lose the ability to do so without a vibrator. Honestly, my first thought is “If this happens, it’s a problem, why?” No really, if she’s enjoying sex with you, why does it matter if batteries are involved?
That aside, is it possible? Yes, and no.
- Some women find orgasm more difficult because of menopause. If you were using a vibe before menopause, she might only be able to climax with one after because of changes that the vibe was able to overcome. Had you not been using a vibe, menopause could have meant orgasms became a problem for her.
- If orgasm was always a struggle, and then a vibe changed that, she might not be willing to go back to having to fight for every climax. Or only come some of the time. Or have weak orgasms. She could still do it without a vibe, she just chooses not to.
Apart from those things, what if the apocalypse comes, and you failed to stock up on vibes and hand crank battery chargers. I assure you, your wife will be able to come without a vibe just as well as if you had never used one.
The other thing I hear is that a vibe is a crutch for men who won’t learn how to pleasure their wife. Now, I’m all about a man learning how to play his wife’s sexuality like a virtuoso, but that’s not always in the cards. If his wife has never given herself an orgasm, expecting her husband to break the code is unfair. In that situation, a vibrator can make the difference between success and repeated disappointment and frustration.
What’s more, some women struggle to orgasm for reasons over which their husband has no control. Making it his fault she’s not enjoying sex because of her fears, distractions, or past injuries, is just cruel. If a vibe helps them get past those things, then it’s a godsend for their sex life. And possibly for their marriage. If they want to use a vibe as a starting place and then learn to give her orgasms without it, fine. If they decide they like it, that’s fine too.
I suppose all of this makes me look like some sort of vibrator evangelist. But my concern is from the opposite direction. I’m pushing back against those who try to make vibrators sinful, wrong, or harmful. Some folks will have a great sex life and never own a vibe. Great. Some will have a great sex life that includes the use of a vibe. Also, great. My concern is those who won’t have a good sex life because they have been convinced they should make it happen without a vibrator.
A post worth reading:
Dr. Corey Carlisle | Unknown cost ◄ Of maturity, faith, risk, and stepping out
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