Writing Your Own Vows – How To Write Wedding Vows

Writing your own vows is one of the most meaningful (and challenging) to-do’s you’ll experience while planning your wedding. But where to start? It’s such an important part of the day—totally reasonable that you’d feel a bit of pressure. Luckily, it doesn’t actually have to be that difficult! Our tips will give you an outline and help spark inspiration. Once you finally put pen to paper, use our guide below as a jumping off point and you’ll be ready to write your own vows.

writing your own vows - wedding ceremony photo by JULIA KAPTELOVA PHOTOGRAPHY

5 Steps to Writing Your Own Vows

Step 1: Lock Down Ceremony Details

Before you start writing your vows, take some time going over your ceremony plan as a couple. Approximately how long do you want your ceremony to be? (This will help you determine whether you’d like your vows to be long and full of detail or short and sweet.) What’s the vibe? Is it religious or spiritual? How will your personalities be reflected in the ceremony? Who are your guests and how do you want your them to feel as you exchange vows in front of them?

Step 2: Decide What Story You Want To Tell

Your wedding vows are not only a promise to your spouse, but a story representing your love. How do you want to tell that story? Is it by chronicling the highlights from when you first met until now? Is it reflecting on defining moments together that strengthened your relationship or led to growth? Are you listing all the reasons you love your partner, with a touch of humor or a bit of emotion?

Step 3: How Do You Want To Tell It?

Once you decide what kind of story you want to tell, you can think of how to tell it. Will it be emotional and heartfelt? Serious or funny, or a mix of both? Will you recite your vows to your partner as if no one else is around, or will you include guests in some of your references? If you’re feeling a little stuck, don’t feel guilty about researching wedding vow examples! Just make sure whatever you like simply serves as inspiration for your own unique story.

Step 4: Walk Down Memory Lane

One of the best ways to write your vows is to revisit special memories throughout your relationship. Whether it’s times were you were at your most connected or blissful, challenging seasons, or adventures you’ve taken, you’ll want to spend some time reflecting on the moments that really stick out to you, and how they might fit into your vows. Take days or weeks to set aside moments to think about it – no need to rush! The ones that keep coming back are probably worth mentioning, and from there you can choose whether you’ll share the memories themselves or focus on the feelings they evoke.

Step 5: Make Your Promises

Finally, write out the vows themselves—the promises you make to your partner to show how you plan to support them now and into the distant future. They can be more traditional or modern, formal or relaxed, super romantic or a little silly, but here’s where the story moves from being about your story up until this point and becomes about where your story is going. A few details on your plans and dreams as a couple will tie it all together in a way that gives “happily ever after”.

Writing your own vows can be a little overwhelming, but it’s worth it in the end because you not only took a chance to articulate how much your partner means to you in a way you possibly haven’t before, but now you get to keep that memory with you for the rest of your lives. Remember, there is absolutely no wrong way to do it, and whatever feels right to you is probably exactly what your partner will love to hear – because, after all, it came from you!

While your wedding vows are up to you alone, the rest of wedding planning is a group effort! Use our site MatchBook to find your wedding dream team and have all the support you need!


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